good luck with that box. all the world's a stage
What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.
Chuck Palahniuk, Choke (via observando)

(via people-always-leave)


Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson for Mass Appeal 

Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson for Mass Appeal 

(Source: ilanaglazerrr, via dog-xanax)

chikittyxo:

submariet:

The kakapo is one of the rarest parrots in the world:

It’s flightless
It’s the world’s heaviest parrot
It’s possibly the oldest living bird and
It has a subsonic mating boom that can travel several kilometres

it doesn’t even walk

it GALUMPHS

there is literally no other word for what this precious moss potato is doing

precious moss potato

(Source: svartvitkatt, via ichbinerica)

jaaaaaaawn:

methdragon:

be there or 

image

That square is 5 bees by 6 bees I’ll have you know that is a bee rectangle you have failed

(via ichbinerica)

mostlycatsmostly:

(via Kuraaltai)

(via dog-xanax)

questbedhead:

tenfootpolesociety:

shavingryansprivates:

why he lick me

THIS IS SUPER COOL THOUGH IF YOU UNDERSTAND HORSES. LIKE THAT NIPPING IS A GROOMING BEHAVIOR HORSE’S DO TO BOND AND TO MAINTAIN AND IMPROVE SOCIAL BONDS. SO THAT HORSE IS BASICALLY TREATING THE CAT AS PART OF THE HERD AND SUSTAINING THE FRIENDLY BOND.

IT IS SAYING, “this tiny horse is very tiny but we are friends. Look at my tiny friend.”

Horses and cats get along really well actually! Cats in barns scare away all the rats and mice that frighten the horses. SO it’s less like the horse accepting it into the ‘herd’ as the horse saying ‘thank you, brave warrior, for protecting me from the scary chitter beasts.’ 

(Source: lolgifs.net, via ichbinerica)

holynipples:

if the purge was happening in real life you would see murders and rape and then you’d see me like

image

(via ichbinerica)

geekerypokery:

jeremymcbitchin:

Imagine having braces during the apocalypse. no one can take your braces off. And you just have to accept that you’ll have braces forever.

i want a novel focused around a character with braces during the apocalypse and the entire plot of the story revolves around their search for an orthodontist who is still alive and they sort of accidentally save the world in the process

(via ichbinerica)

thorxndor:

I was sitting on my friends bed with her when she came out as gay

and I was looking through a Chinese food pamphlet

so I put it down, looked at her and said “I was going to suggest ordering food but I see now you’d prefer to eat out”

and I don’t think she’s ever really forgave me  

(via ichbinerica)

Live every day with the confidence of a fifteen-year-old who’s smoked pot twice talking to a fifteen-year-old who’s only smoked pot once.

lovesloveandthatisthat:

anchorsawaysetsail:

homoarigato:

first kiss: queer women

this is infinitely cuter than that strangers kiss for a clothing label ad or homophobes hug gay people video

This is so adorable and makes me happy

Cayyooott

(via skinsurf)

gryffinpoor:

dudemanbropants:

gryffinpoor:

thepreciousthing:

the-ordinary-nerd:

ask-or-rp-with-will-petrisous:

squad16:

finalellipsis:

bestnatesmithever:

What if it bites me and it dies?

that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.

What if it bites itself and I die?

It’s voodoo.

What if it bites me and someone else dies?

That’s correlation, not causation.

what if we bite each other and neither of us die

that’s kinky

oh my god

gryffinpoor:

dudemanbropants:

gryffinpoor:

thepreciousthing:

the-ordinary-nerd:

ask-or-rp-with-will-petrisous:

squad16:

finalellipsis:

bestnatesmithever:

What if it bites me and it dies?

that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.

What if it bites itself and I die?

It’s voodoo.

What if it bites me and someone else dies?

That’s correlation, not causation.

what if we bite each other and neither of us die

that’s kinky

oh my god

(via shadowjourneys)

gothicgrandpaqueen:

you catch a lot of flies with honey, but you catch more honeys being fly

(via skinsurf)

(Source: lockeslee, via monkeychewtoy)

I enjoy eating late at night, developing a Chicago accent, and judging people cruelly. The fact that I do not and will likely never fully understand the sport of cricket haunts me night and day. I know this story is about a princess and I know I am in this story. I have not yet determined whether the princess and I are one and the same.