• "Shoot a Crooked Arrow", with Special Guest Art Carney as the Archer!

  • Commissioner Gordon, regarding the evil Archer:

    "That rapacious rapscallion is terrorizing the good people of Gotham!"

  • Bruce Wayne on the batphone:

    "Yes, and he robbed the hallway safe of Bruce Wayne."

  • Commissioner Gordon:

    "How did you know that Batman?"

  • Bruce Wayne:

    "It's my...business to know."

  • .

  • Archer:

    "I'm going to rob from the rich and give to the poor!"

  • Batman:

    "How unoriginal!"

  • "Someone might be able to substitute Batman for a very short time, but [turns to stare at the camera dramatically] no one could ever replace him." -Commissioner Gordon

  • Guy in window of building being scaled by Batman and Robin:

    "You're not in a band? I thought you might be a singing duo or something, with the outfits and all that."

  • Batman:

    "No, we're fully deputized officers of the law."

  • Guy in window:


  • Batman:

    "...You may carry on about your business, sir."

  • "If you didn't get your change from the vending machine, you'll have to take it up with the department upstairs." -Banker upon being approached by the Archer and his henchmen.

  • OX?ETH! WHAM-ETH! CLUNK-ETH! THWAPE! -medieval fight sound effects

  • "You know, youse guise ooughta use those American titles when youse talk. Like in the foreign pictures!" --female henchman, frustrated with the Old English of the other henchmen.

  • "Thou hath nothing to fear but thy life." --the Archer, totally not threatening Alfred

  • "Holy hostage!" -Robin, alarmed at Alfred being held hostage.

  • "It's a guillotine often used by stage magicians. I recognized it at once. He was never in any danger whatsoever." -Batman, not impressed by Alfred's near death

  • "Enclose em in a room full of imported California smog. They wouldn't last five minutes!" -Archer's henchmen proposing torture ideas